Simsisms of July

Alright, you all know that we at MM absolutely love Ners broadcaster Dave Sims. He’s got one of the best spirits in the game, has an extensive knowledge of baseball history, and is a pretty good broadcaster to boot. But there’s one thing in particular we love about Dave…let’s just say he has a “tendency for the obscure.” At least a few times a game, Mr. Sims makes an off-the-cuff comment that’s just a little bit strange. We call them “Simsisms,” a tongue-twisting word that attempts to label the brain-twisting phrases that at times emerge from Dave’s mouth, and at the end of each month, we break down the best 5 that we heard. We can’t catch them all, but the ones we do catch are normally pretty darn good. Here are your July Simsisms:

5. July 10

“Way to go Ang! I want you as my campaign director if I ever run.”

Dave got real excited about Angie Mentink’s explanations of the Mariners’ #SendSegura social media promotions in attempt to send Jean to the All Star Game. In fact, he got so excited that he decided on the spot that Angie (“Ang” for short, apparently) was going to be his own campaign director. Funny thing was, he never announced what he was running for. Dave Sims 2020.

4. July 5

“They ain’t makin’ em like that anymore, Mike…”

After reading off a trivia fact about Robin Roberts, a pitcher who threw 28 consecutive complete games in 1953, Dave got a bit sad on the mic. He paused after finishing this fact, and you could just barely hear a sigh escape his mouth before he somberly uttered this phrase. Apparently Dave’s not a big fan of pitch counts.

3. July 29

“Do not try this at home, kids – you might get hurt.”

This one wasn’t really necessary, but just reinforces Dave’s utter reverence of Mike Trout. Almost anytime Trout robs a Mariner – which is quite often – Sims utters something along the lines of “Dawwww he did it again!” and you can almost feel the pain in his voice. But this one was on a fairly routine grab Trout made, where he had to turn a little at one point. Still, stay safe out there.

2. July 15

“You gotta protect your lady’s fries!”

As a young Mariner fan holds his hat over his girlfriend’s plate of french fries to protect them from a stray foul ball, Dave Sims proudly looked on from the broadcasting booth. Feeling the urge to promote such an act of chivalry, he turned to his chosen medium – the microphone – and declared to all men in the world that you must – you must – protect your lady fries. Sorry: lady’s fries.

1. July 5

“Check out this Baryshnikov type leap here.”

After David Fletcher made an outstanding leaping grab to rob Jean Segura of an RBI single on July 5th, Dave reached back down the annals of obscure references and whipped this one out. For those who are wondering, Mikhail Baryshnikov was a Latvian ballet who peaked in the 1970s. Okay.

#Simsisms