Simsisms of June

Alright, you know the drill! We at MM love absolutely love Ners broadcaster Dave Sims – and particularly his tendency for the obscure. We call them “Simsisms,” a tongue-twisting word that attempts to label the brain-twisting phrases that at times emerge from Dave’s mouth, and at the end of each month, we break down the best 5 that we heard. We can’t catch them all, but the ones we do catch are normally pretty darn good. Here’s your top 5 Simsisms of June:

5. June 12

“Mama didn’t raise no dummy!”

I’ll set the scene for you here. Dan Wilson and Mike Blowers are filling some air time by reminiscing about playing with Edgar and Griffey, and discussing how both would swing 31-ounce bats. Taking note that they were the two best players on the team, Dan and Blow mentioned that they quickly put two-and-two together, abandoned their heavier 34-ounce sticks, and adopted 31-ounce bats as well. Then, after roughly five minutes of having been silent during the conversation, Dave blurts this out. A good seven seconds of silence ensued. That’s broadcast gold.

4. June 3

“Straight. Gas. Homie!”

This is not an abnormal exclamation from Dave. Even last year, he would yell this when Diaz would blow a 98-mph heater by somebody to seal a victory. But on June 3rd, Dave got a bit ahead of himself. As Eddie stared down Johnny Field for the final out of the game, Dave said this before the pitch hit Zunino’s glove. But it wasn’t straight gas – it was an 88-mph slider. Whatever.

3. June 11

“He could out drive me five times with his three-wood, I guarantee.”

After Nelson Cruz hit an absolute laser of a dinger on June 11th, Dave took to alternative sports vocabulary to attempt to capture Cruz’ strength and ability to hit low line drives that leave the yard. Apparently Nelson swings a mean 3-wood, and I guess Dave struggles with the driver.

2. June 11

“Replace your divots!”

Dave must have gone golfing earlier that afternoon, for this golf comment came about two innings after the Cruz three-wood comment, after a Denard Span diving catch resulted in a bit of turf getting chewed up. I’m guessing Dave had a rough outing on the links due to poor course etiquette of someone in front of him, because he sounded quite angry when he said this.

1. June 1

“I have a deed to this portion of the land here, son!”

Yet another old-style iteration emerges from Dave. This one came after Ryon Healy yelled at Dee Gordon for calling him off of a pop out to first base, which was clearly Healy’s ball. Ryon turned and angrily yelled something at Dee. I don’t know what it was – but I know it wasn’t this.

#Simsisms