Where Are They Ner? (April & May)

Adam Moore | Catcher

Ner from: 2009-2011

Best Ner Moment: Adam’s best moment as a Ner came in his debut, believe it or not. On September 17, 2009, he started his first big league game against the White Sox – a matchup that went 14 innings. Moore went 0-5 at the plate (which sucks), but also caught all 14 innings, giving the surprisingly decent ’09 squad some much-needed rest behind the plate. The fact that his best moment as a Mariner was a game in which he went 0-5 tells you everything you need to know about Adam Moore’s career in Seattle: it was not a very good one.

Where MM Guessed He Is Ner: Adam has to be coaching High School somewhere. He’s a Texas guy, so he’s most likely stuck in an assistant gig for one of those 6-A schools down there that are more like mini-colleges than they are high schools. Adam’s team is decent, but it’s no thanks to him.

Where He Actually is Ner: Incredibly, Adam Moore is still in the bigs. Well, I guess I should say he’s still in baseball. After the Ners released him in 2012, Moore was claimed off waivers that July by the Kansas City Royals. He lasted there for 13 months, going 2-11 in his KC career before being traded to San Diego, where he was outrighted to the minors before electing free agency. After a brief stint with the Indians’ minor league teams for the next three years, Moore was surprisingly signed to an MiLB contract with the Tampa Bay Rays before this year. I’ll bet he never gets called up to the main squad.

Brad Wilkerson | Outfielder

Ner in: 2008

Best Ner Moment: Brad Wilkerson was one of the most insignificant players on one of the most insignificant Mariner teams of the past twenty years. He played with a nagging hamstring injury in 19 games and was released on April 30th after hitting .232 with an OPS of .652. That 2008 team won 61 games and is best remembered for marking the end of the Bill Bavasi era, when the GM was fired in June. Brad’s best moment in his brief time was going 3-for-3 against Cleveland the day before he and Greg Norton were released to make room for Jeff Clement and Wladimir Balentien. The Ners would go on to lose 12 of the next 15 games.

Where MM Guessed He Is Ner: After a brief stint in Toronto to finish the 2008 season, Brad retired to Owensboro, known as the BBQ capital of the world, and got involved in the competitive barbecue circuit. Known for his smoked pork shoulder, Brad works tirelessly to develop the perfect rub, sauce and smoke to win the Governor’s Cup at the International BBQ Festival. This past year, he placed a surprising fourth place.

Where He Actually is Ner: Brad actually retired to Florida (where he went to college) and was inducted into the Gators’ Sports Hall of Fame in 2010. He is the head coach at King’s Academy High School in West Palm Beach, and lead The Lions to the league championship in his first year as head coach. Brad enjoys golf, fishing, watching sports on TV, and spending time with his family. He was named a Kentucky Colonel in 2012, the highest honor that the Commonwealth can bestow. Good for you Brad.

Eddie Guardado | Closer

Ner from: 2004-2006

Best Ner Moment: Most people have terrible memories of Everyday Eddie. This is understandable, seeing as he wrapped up his Ners career by converting only 62% of saves and posting an ERA of 5.48 in 2006. However, Eddie’s 2005 season with Seattle was actually pretty darn good, as the veteran from Stockton, California posted 36 saves. Among these, Everyday Eddie strung 27 together consecutively, besting Kazuhiro Sasaki for most in a row by a Mariner. The record lasted one year (JJ Putz broke it easily the following year).

Where MM Guessed He Is Ner: After receiving no votes for the Hall of Fame, Eddie has to be soaking up the post-Big Leager lifestyle somewhere warm. I’m thinking he owns a place down in San Diego and fishes everyday, occasionally helping out at the local high school when he needs some entertainment. He dips a lot and owns three dogs.

Where He Actually is Ner: I legitimately had no idea about this until I wrote this column. Eddie isn’t anywhere warm – he’s about as cold as it gets…in fact, the Ners just saw him! After receiving no votes for the HOF, Guardado decided to try and re-live some of his glory days with the Twins by returning to Minnesota and posting up as their bullpen coach. He was active this past series when Seattle visited for a frigid two games. I guess, like when he was a Mariner, I overlooked him completely. Some things never change…

Stefen Romero | Outfielder

Ner from: 2014-2016

Best Ner Moment: Stefen Romero, despite being a really solid AAA player for a number of years, was a pretty horrible MLB player for the Mariners, amassing a career war of -2.0. Perhaps his most significant contribution as a Ner came on June 3, 2014, when he hit a pinch-hit 3-run homer off of Gavin Floyd to erase an early deficit against the Braves. The M’s were down 4-0 after the first inning and won 7-5. Erasmo Ramirez started that game. Good times.

Where MM Guessed He Is Ner: We admittedly had forgotten why Romero left the Mariners and had assumed it was because he retired or something, so our guess is going to be an assistant baseball coach at his alma mater, Oregon State.

Where He Actually is Ner: If we had remembered why he left the Ners, this actually would’ve been pretty easy. Romero was released after the 2016 season (in which he only played in 9 big league games) to pursue an opportunity in Japan. And boy, has he pursued it.

Playing for the Orix Buffaloes, Romero slashed .274/.330/.508 last season, hitting 26 dingers – a strong improvement on his 4 career homers in MLB. Those 26 big flies tied him for seventh in the league with, I shit you not, Carlos Peguero. That’s a truly amazing coincidence. Go Ners.

And if you think Romero will be a one-hit wonder in Japan, the Buffaloes certainly don’t: they just gave him a three-year extension, which pays him $2.5 million per season. Not bad for a guy with a negative career WAR in the Bigs.

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