Simsisms of September

By now, you know that we here at MM love Dave Sims. If you've been reading us for a while, you also know by now what Simsisms are. Here are the top 5 from September.

1. September 19

“God, I looked up and it was like a chasm out there.”

Ben Gamel hits a gapper and Dave looks up…and is utterly astonished that the outfielders had so much grass between them. His reaction to this was so genuine that I actually think he was speechless for a brief second, before returning to broadcast the play. Dave, you’re so weird. We love you.

2. September 1

“I hope she knows where the bathroom is…that or her mom’s got a lot of wipes!”

As the camera panned around the stadium on this September 1st game, it zeroed in on a little girl eating ice cream. The ice cream was melting all over her, and Dave apparently felt it necessary to comment on the mess. I hope her mom had wipes...and I hope Dave never stops doing what he does best: making awkward situations even more awkward.

3. September 12

“Pedro Espino now in to pitch.”

This one seems totally harmless at first, right? The Rangers brought in a reliever to throw the top of the 9th, and Dave said the guy’s name…but the problem is, his name is Pablo Espino. Not Pedro. Woops. Whatever, Dave probably wasn’t paying too much attention anyway.

4. September 14

“If they had a casting call for the second version of Jeremiah Johnson, he’d have to go to the front of the line.”

Ah, Dave and his western references. Remember back in the first Simsisms, when he talked about Poss Adam and Little Joe Cartwright? Well he went out the way he came in, as he used a Robert Redford flick to describe the beard sported by Andrew Cashner of the Rangers. Typical Dave.

5. September 14

“Straight. Gas. Homie.”

Just vintage Dave here to round out the year’s Simsisms. As he discussed Edwin Diaz’ performance the night before, he wanted to add an extra umph to the 101, 102-mph fastballs that Sugar had been dealing. “Fast” wasn’t enough – no, it was “Straight. Gas. Homie.” And yes, there were audible pauses where those periods are. See you next year, Mr. Sims.

#Simsisms