Simsisms of August

We at MM absolutely love Ners broadcaster Dave Simms. He’s got one of the best spirits in the game, has an extensive knowledge of baseball history, and is a pretty good broadcaster to boot. But there’s one thing in particular we love about Dave…let’s just say he has a “tendency for the obscure.” At least a few times a game, Mr. Simms makes an off-the-cuff comment that’s just a little bit strange. We call them “Simmsisms,” a tongue-twisting phrase that attempts to label the brain-twisting phrases that at times emerge from Dave’s mouth. Every month, we break down the best 5 that we heard. We can’t catch them all (if you hear one, please let us know!) but the ones we do catch are normally pretty darn good. The top 5 Simmsisms from August are:

5. August 26

“Brownie. Chocolate ice cream. Vanilla ice cream. Touchdown: Dave Sims.”

Dave was no-fuss when describing his ideal dessert. While Blowers meddled a little bit between things like cookies and tiramisu, Dave knew his answer immediately and stated it in the most matter-of-fact way possible – in a “mic drop” tone that has quickly become his norm.

4. August 21

“I was on the Emory campus before the game today and some kids were looking at the eclipse without the glasses and I’m thinking man, if their parents only knew!”

First, why was Dave on Emory University’s campus on a Monday afternoon? Second, does he really think that looking at an eclipse without the proper eyewear is what parents are worried their children are doing in college? Man…we went to different schools.

3. August 19

“Oprah Winfrey once asked Jane Fonda ‘What do you see when you look in the mirror and she said ‘Good work’.”

Dave reportedly said this to Mitch Haniger on the day he came back from the DL, and to be honest, I could not tell you why. But I absolutely love that he has this quote on lock.

2. August 23

“Mike will row the boat and show you hallelujah!”

Ten seconds of silence followed this statement, as the rest of the world tried to understand what the hell Dave meant by it. Apparently the organist at SunTrust park was feeling fairly creative with his fill-in music, and played a version of Row row row your boat as Mike Zunino walked to the plate. The rest of the world is still waiting for where the hallelujah portion came from, however.

1. August 19

“He showed me the ‘gator and I said waaait a minute, big fella!"

When Servais had live reptiles brought in to try and cheer the team up as they kicked off their two-week road trip, Nelson Cruz tried to show Sims his new pet alligator – and apparently Dave freaked the fuck out. This wonderful, wonderful Simsism made me realize that Dave Sims a fear of reptiles, and that is the most gold thing ever.

#Simsisms