Where Are They Ner? (July)

Ever wonder where that one prospect who never panned out ended up? What that one reliever you used to hate is doing now? We could tell you.

In every off-day newsletter, Mariner Muse takes a look at where old Mariners are these days - but with a slightly unique approach. First, we take a look at when they were on the Mariners, then at what their best moment as a Ner was. Third, we make a collective guess at what their life is like now…and then finally, we research (and reveal) where the once-upon-a-Ner is now. At the end of every month, we will release each that were examined in previous newsletters.

Here are the Where Are They Ners from the past three MM newsletters:

Bucky Jacobsen | First Baseman

Ner from: 2004-2005

Best Ner Moment: Bucky only had 160 at bats in the majors, and they all took place between July and September of 2004. That’s surprising, mostly because he’s such a memorable Ner for the home run power he displayed. Bucky hit nine homers in seven weeks with the Ners, including six within the first two weeks of his call up. Only July 21, Bucky launched a walk-off solo homer in the bottom of the 10th inning to beat the A’s 6-5. His magical home run pop made the brutal ’04 season a little more fun for M’s fans.

Where MM Guessed he is Ner: It does always seem like the guys who show wild power in a cup of coffee with the Ners end up swatting dingers in Korea or Japan for the rest of their able-bodied lives. Bucky could fit that bill. He also had a lot of cowboy to him, so maybe he rode off into the sunset and is lassoing steers in his native Wyoming full-time.

Where he Really is Ner: Seattle didn’t forget about Bucky. He retired from baseball rather early in 2007 after playing in the Mexican minor leagues and not being able to catch on with an MLB team after that. These days, he makes Mariners-related appearances for Q13 FOX and 950 KJR in Seattle, covering the team he gained his brief bit of notoriety with all those years ago. Also, according to his Wikipedia page, he coaches youth baseball and runs his own academy in Snoqualmie, appropriately called “Bucky’s Baseball Academy.” The Seattle legend remains a Seattle Legend.

Randy Winn | Outfield

Ner from: 2003-2005

Best Ner Moment: Winn’s most memorable moment as a Ner was, weirdly, how the team acquired him: in a trade for manager Lou Pinella. Yet since players cannot be exchanged straight up for a manager, utility infield prospect Antonio Perez was thrown in as well. However, the Santa Clara University alum did also hit a walk off home run in the 12th in the first game of a double-header against the Royals in 2004, after some guy named Jolbert Cabrera doubled home Bret Boone to send it to extras. The winning pitchers in that double-header were Matt Thornton and Cha Seung-Baek. Whoa, sign of the times.

Where MM Guessed he is Ner: After toiling away for Bob Melvin and the Ners, Winn was traded to San Francisco before brief stints with the Yankees and Cardinals. He returned to the Bay Area and got into producing rap music for many Bay Area legends like E-40 and Mac Dre. Like in baseball, Winn became known for his consistent and understated beats. His most famous song is “All I Do is Win,” by DJ Khaled. Khaled attempted to rename the song “All I Do is Winn,” but T-Pain blocked the move because being an above average player on a bad team is not what T-Pain aspires to.

Where he Really is Ner: Winn actually has returned to the Bay Area, but has settled down with his family. He has dabbled in coaching in the minor leagues for the San Jose Giants and occasionally appears on CSN Bay Area as a Giants analyst. He first year of Hall of Fame eligibility was last year, but he failed to receive a vote. He is also one of four famous Santa Clara University alumni to have their jersey hanging up in the faux-sports-bar on campus, alongside Steve Nash, Kurt Rambis, and Brandi Chastain.

Scott Spiezio | Infielder

Ner from: 2004-2005

Best Ner Moment: Is there one? Scott is currently #2 on Bleacher Report’s “10 worst free agent signings in Mariners’ history,” trailing only Carlos Silva (but still worse than Chone Figgins). I suppose his best moment as a Ner came when he first arrived and hit six dingers in his first 32 games…which still isn’t astounding.

Where MM Guessed he is Ner: Scott’s retirement from professional baseball opened the door for him to fully pursue the music path that he clearly so wanted to be a leading figure in. He has dedicated all of his time now to writing music for his hard core heavy-metal band Sandfrog, yet is still waiting for his “big break.” He lives in a McMansion in Anaheim, California, and has a framed image of Ozzy Osbourne above his mantelpiece.

Where he Really is Ner: We honestly weren’t too far off. Sandfrog is still a thing (that’s them in the image there…Spiezio is in the center), although I will assert that Sandfrog is not a good thing. Take a listen to their biggest song, “LITL,” and see for yourself. The band’s bio pins them as a “well-oiled, heavily-grased, and full steam engine that is traveling full speed in the music world and the only direction to go is up and with no slowing down in sight.” For Scott, however, a big of slowing down may be a good thing. Just last year, he was tazed and arrested by Illinois police after his girlfriend noticed him punching out a neighbor’s window – but only after being chased by a K-9 unit. Rage on, Sandfrog.

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