Simsisms of June

By now, you are well aware that we at MM absolutely love Ners broadcaster Dave Sims. He has one of the best spirits in the game, has an extensive knowledge of baseball history, and is a pretty good announcer to boot. But there’s one thing in particular we love about Dave…he has a – well, let’s just call it a “tendency for the obscure.” At least a few times a game, you’re gonna hear something weird come out of Dave’s mouth. We call them “Simsisms,” a tongue-twisting word to label the brain-twisting phrases he lets loose here and there. Every month, MM breaks down the best Simsisms that we heard. We can’t catch them all (if you hear one, please let us know!) but the ones we do catch are normally pretty darn good. The top 5 Simsisms from June are:

#5: June 24

“Simon & Garfunkel weren’t as prolific of songwriters as Reddick and Altuve are. I mean c’mon – pick a duo! Lennon and McCartney, Jagger and Richards…we can go for days!”

Ah man, I was waiting for him to slip “Sims and Blowers” into his list of memorable duos who had hit the mic together in one way or another. But apparently there’s no room for broadcasters in Dave’s list of great performers. There’s room for Jose Altuve and Josh Reddick, though?

#4: June 18

“Mariners lost 10-4, and then again 10-4…and we aren’t talking police parlance either, folks.”

Roger that. Dave here, hittin’ you obscure insights and vocabulary as always…over and out. 10-4.

#3: June 10

“SPEED. KILLS.”

This one was just purely awesome for total mic drop way in which Dave said it. After that weird moment on June 10 when two errors and Dyson’s speed allowed him to score from first base on a wild pitch, Sims – who had gotten real excited while calling Dyson rounding the bags – erupted when he slid safely home, said this, and then followed it with a good 10 seconds of silence. Honestly, it wouldn’t have surprised me if the dead air was because Dave had promptly stood up, flipped the desk over, and fuckin’ walked out of the booth.

#2: June 11

“Just sittin’ there…lookin’ for the ghost of Jimi Hendrix.”

We just couldn’t help but crack up at this one. As the camera panned the crowd at this matinee game, in slowly zoomed in on a man sporting a yellow blazer. Dave took a moment to analyze the scenario, and take a stab at what was on this guy’s mind. He was alone; he looked pensive. He was at a baseball game, yes. But really, he was lookin’ for the ghost of Jimi Hendrix.

#1: June 18

“He was NOT playing patty-cake."

Out of context, this is just a random and weird thing to say. In context…it’s still a random and weird thing to say. Believe it or not, Dave was actually talking about Adrian Beltre when he said this, while attempting to describe how the Rangers 3B began taking batting practice when he was just 7 years old. I mean fair, I surely wasn’t doing that at 7. But I also wasn’t playing patty-cake.

#Simsisms